A few days ago, a post was shared on his Instagram by actress Noshin Shah. In it, he spoke of being pressured into marriage by his family and the strange attitude of our society towards marriage. Due to which he had to face a lot of criticism on social media.
Although Noshin’s accent and choice of words can be challenged, there is no denying that marriage is a big issue in our country. Girls in particular also face a lot of social pressure in this regard.
That is why when Pakistani Nobel laureate Malala Yousafzai is interviewed by a leading international magazine, she is also asked about marriage. In response to this, when she mentions the conversation with her mother, she says that it is not necessary to have marriage for marriage, but partnership can also be done. On which his mother explains to him that it is also necessary to get married in our society. After which, Malala also says in the interview that she does not know about her marriage yet because she has a lot of important things to do in her life.
But since our society is probably so obsessed with marriage, the opinion of an adult girl is distorted and fatwas are issued on her. However, Malala’s main point was that she too is already facing social pressure regarding marriage. And there is no doubt that in our society when a girl is above the age of twenty, people start talking about her marriage. She faces pressure from her family. If she goes to a family function, her cousins will tell her what she thought about the wedding.
When she was sitting very comfortably, an aunt would suddenly appear there and start asking her questions about her personal life. Because they don’t know what personal space is called. Then, in praise of her son, she will join the folds of heaven and earth as God’s refuge. If the same girl ever goes to visit her friends, she will also be seen telling her to get married and settle down in life. Because for us, having a girl in Seattle means getting married. Then, as the girl gets older, the questions about marriage, the advice will increase. Because 27 or 28 years of age is considered the expiration date of marriage for girls here. After that, you can’t have a good relationship.
The girl’s mother will get advice, go to such and such a shrine and pray, talk to such and such a relative, explain to your daughter to release something. Someone will say that nowadays it is such a modern age, so tell your daughter to find a rich boy by herself. Somewhere there will be fights to get married in your own family. But no one will ask this girl what you want. Do you just want to get married or do something else in life? And sir, this case of marriage questions and advice is not just for girls. Boys have to go through that too. A boy like me, who is over thirty-five years old and unmarried, also faces a good deal of mental retardation in this regard.
For example, if he goes to a family function, he is first asked about marriage. She is given advice, take such and such a daughter, you will be very happy. Someone will say, man, get married now, what do you want? Just look, your younger cousins have now become fathers of children. Some aunty will say, look how sick her mother is, show her happiness now, or bring her daughter-in-law to serve her. Like the only purpose of marriage is to serve the family. Ironically, the one whose married life will be very bad will also say, “Brother, get married, you will be very happy.” Then if an old school friend is found in the village, he will stand in front of you with his hands tied after Salam Dua, saying, “Friend, as many children as you have, let me marry you now for God’s sake.”
Twenty years later, if you talk to a high school friend in a WhatsApp group, he will say whether you got married or not. And as soon as he hears the answer of no, he will say that there is an “internal” problem, so don’t worry, your brother is wise nowadays, he will settle everything. If you meet college, university friends, they will say the same thing, friends, it is good to get married, so do it. If you talk to someone for the first time on social media platforms, then the question of marriage will definitely be asked and as soon as you hear the answer of no, you will see the reaction as if the servant has committed a serious crime by not getting married. And then when the mother-in-law’s relatives come and give the girls advice, they will be asked to marry you emotionally.
So, when you have such an attitude, there will come a time when the one who endures all this will explode and this is what Noshin Shah did. But all these guys, especially girls, are advised to be straight. If anyone tells you anything about marriage, listen to it with one ear and take it out with the other. You have to live life, they didn’t. Getting married when you want to do it yourself, to do it with someone who thinks that yes, life can go well with him. Meaning that there is the harmony of mind, which gives thought, some heart also seems to be found. If you find someone like that, do it, otherwise don’t do it. Because getting married in the wrong place is better than grinding the mill of compromise all your life.
When it comes to the words of the people of this society, they will be trapped in the fog of such status, caste, lineage, outward beauty, wealth and then they will say to keep playing it for the rest of their lives. Even if you do all this, you will not be happy. If you can’t believe it, just look around you and you will see how many men and women seem to be tied together in this sacred bond. Their bodies will be together but their souls will not be together. Therefore, if you find someone with a soul, live with him, otherwise, you can live alone. There is more to life than just marriage. Do what you love to do, to be, to read books, to listen to music, to write, to travel around the world, to learn to love people beyond religion, creed, sect, nationality, region. Making humanity your faith. See how relaxed you will feel.
And all I have to say to all the contractors of this society is that if someone is not getting married, there can be any reason for it. The person may be trying to get out of a bitter past experience, and it may take some time. He may have many important responsibilities regarding his family. It may be more important to do something else. His financial situation may not be good. Maybe he has some more dreams to fulfill for a loved one. He may not be able to fulfill his responsibilities of marriage and his spouse yet. Anything can happen. If you stop asking him this question, then, believe me, no Hour will come. Yes, it is possible to get rid of this mental anguish. So please do him a favor.